Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly
by HeartCarvedChest
Summary: Somebody at Degrassi is ready to end their life. Will they be saved? One-Shot.


**Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly**

**I do not own Degrassi, Epitome does. I do not own this song, Boys Night Out does.**

She sat shivering in her idling car. How long had she been sitting there? She honestly didn't know. Finally she pulled herself together enough to get out of the car and walk to bench she had so carefully selected. Waiting. It was the hardest thing to do. She had never been too good with waiting. She tucked herself into the smallest ball she could while she waited for him. Why did she even have to wait? She could do it and he could show up and find her and then she would miss all the drama that came after. "No don't think that." She told herself. "Wait for him. Wait for him."

She finally heard the purr of an engine turning off. Then a few crunching leaves. She looked up and saw him approaching her. It took all the energy she had not to just run away from this all. She debated within herself why she had even called him in the first place. Did she want to be saved?

"Hey..." He said as he sat a few inches away on the bench. "Look, what are you doing here?"

She didn't want to answer that question. Never wanted to have to explain what had brought her to this point. But in the back of her mind she knew it was because she loved him, and he loved her, in turn. That was why she had taken the trouble to put all of this off until he got there. "I'm sorry. I just have to do this. But before I go, I wanted to tell you how much I love you. And you will always be the last boy I loved." She stood up. And it was only then that he saw a flash of shiny metal in her delicate hands.

_When you're left with only a bullet  
__I'll bring the trigger and a promise to pull it  
__I'll be the end of everyone who's ever entered your life  
__And taken pieces out of it._

"Stop!" He yelled. "What are you doing?"

She turned on her heel to look at him. Tears were streaming down her face by now. "You don't understand. No one does! I...I don't even know why I wanted you here. Just leave!"

He looked at her beautiful form, not wanting these words to be the last she said to him. And in that second he decided, it's now or never. Jumping up from the bench he walked over to her and wrapped his hands around her very tightly. "Why are you doing this?" He pulled away just enough to look deep into her brown pleading eyes. "You don't have to do this, you know. There are too many people that love you."

She pulled away slightly, "It's what I want."

"But it doesn't have to be! Don't you understand? You could get help! I'll help you, myself!" He tried to keep his body as close to hers as possible, figuring if he was there with her nothing bad could happen. She had always been his savior. This was his turn to return the favor. "Come on, baby, let's go back home. To Dairy Queen. Anywhere but here."

"No." She said simply, finally tearing herself away. She sat on the ground with this heavy hunk of metal in her hands. She turned it over and over.

He was getting scared now. He wanted to stop her. He knew she wanted to be stopped. Why else would she have called him? "Fine, if you are going to sit here and do this, I'm not going to be the one that finds you." He turned to walk away, hoping this trick of reverse psychiatry would work.

"Wait. Just..Just come back and sit with me for like a minute." It had.

_I'll give you enough time to regain your composure  
__To reconstruct a heart that's torn apart from over-exposure  
__I know forever isn't long enough to forget the faces and places  
__that played out your tragedy._

He walked back to her and sat down on the muddy grass. "She must truly be out of it," he thought to himself, "Muddy grass."

She put the gun down and looked over at him. "Hey!" She said, her voice suddenly brightening, "Remember the 80's dance?"

"Yeah, yeah. That was a lot of fun."

She sighed, "That was so long ago.." Her voice trailed off and he felt her slipping away again.

"You're right, it was. But we still have good times like that. Like, remember..umm...remember graduation? That wasn't too long ago. And that party after, that was fun." He scooted a bit closer and put his arm around her shoulders. "We still have good times."

"Good times? Yeah, I suppose. But everyone has so much drama. I just hate being part of it. I just want out."

"So get out, but not this way. You don't have to go like this. We can leave this town. Make our own memories, our own history."

_Our memory defeats us all  
__I've touched the stagnant water and muddy walls  
__Of the trench where you've been sleeping  
__And there's nothing there worth keeping  
__There's nothing there worth keeping  
__Or believing_

"I have to." She said. "All the things you say are so sweet and I mean, I'd want that, I really would. But I've screwed things up too badly."

He cuddled closer, running his hand up her back, "But those were mistakes. We all make mistakes."

"But I had so much to live up to. I had so many people expecting things from me. I let them all down." Everything had been such a mess, she had worked so hard all of her live and in the past two years everything had just seemed to fall apart. There was nothing she could do. "Will you dance with me, just for, I dunno...old time's sake?"

"It would be my pleasure, m'lady." He stood up and grabbed her hands, pulling her to her feet. "There's no music."

"We make our own music." He replied and started to hum softly.

She giggled slightly when his breath tickled her hair. This was perfect. She stood on her tip-toes to kiss him softly on the lips.

_So, on the eve of the attack,  
__We'll finger-trace the targets on their backs  
__And open fire.  
__Just hold on until they're gone.  
__So, with this kiss I promise to  
__Never forget what you did for me._

"I love you, Craig." She leaned down and picked up the gun. "I'm sorry."

She pointed the gun at him, she wasn't sure why. She just wanted the perfect end to the perfect night.

"What are you doing, Em?" He looked at her with fear in his eyes.

"Let's go together." She said and pulled the trigger. The she turned the gun on herself.

_I felt the sun on my face for the first time,  
__And tasted blood on my tongue for the last._


End file.
